| At one time or another most parents have said, | | | | how you would answer the following questions: |
| "Because my parents did "ABC" to me, I'll never | | | | 1. What do I love about the way my parents |
| do that to my own kids," or "I'll never say that to | | | | raised me? |
| my children!" Do you find that you are just a | | | | 2. What aspects of their parenting do I not want |
| reaction to way you were parented? What do | | | | to perpetuate in my own family? |
| you really believe about how you want to raise | | | | 3. How does that negative piece show up in my |
| your children? | | | | own parenting? Where have I gone to the other |
| Think about it.... If you like the way you were | | | | extreme? |
| parented, you will recreate that parenting style in | | | | 4. How satisfied am I with these reactions? |
| your own family. If you didn't like it, you stay as | | | | 5. What would I like to be different? |
| far away from that style as possible. Either way, | | | | Look at your answers and remember to be |
| you are reacting to how you were parented. But | | | | gentle with yourself. The purpose of this exercise |
| this doesn't necessarily reflect what you believe, | | | | is not to assign blame and guilt. We are all a |
| or take into consideration the unique needs and | | | | product of our upbringing. Our parents did the |
| personalities of your own children, you and your | | | | best they could based on their own upbringing. |
| spouse/partner. The trick is to find a place | | | | They lived in a day when people did not seek out |
| between these two extremes that defines you | | | | help or go to parenting classes or counseling. Now |
| and your values. | | | | you have the chance to break the cycle. This is |
| Perhaps your parents were the stoic, unemotional | | | | the time to recognize where you have come |
| type, so you gush over everything. Maybe they | | | | from and where you want to go. |
| were super-strict, so you have very few rules in | | | | A wise person once said, "Those who do not |
| your house. They might have been neat freaks, | | | | learn from the past are destined to repeat it." |
| and so you are okay with clutter. What do you | | | | The time to take action is now! Parent education |
| really value and want your children to know? | | | | programs, coaching, therapy, and resources of all |
| If you would like things to be different in your | | | | kinds are available to you. Asking for help is a sign |
| family, then this awareness of where your | | | | of strength and will take you and your family to a |
| parenting style comes from is the first step | | | | place of trust, cooperation and love. |
| toward change. Take a few moments to see | | | | |