| How many times have you wondered how to | | | | as though my life has ceased to exist, and now |
| support your friend or relative who has taken on | | | | everything revolves around my mother's care and |
| the role of caregiver? Or maybe you would like | | | | what she may need. |
| to offer your assistance or friendship to that | | | | I know there are many other caregivers out |
| special senior citizen that just can't get around like | | | | there that are struggling with these same issues |
| they used to? Every time you see them, the | | | | and could use some help. After a lot of thought, I |
| same thought swirls through your heart and mind | | | | came up with some ideas that I feel would be |
| - "how can I help?" I would like to provide you | | | | helpful. |
| with you some concrete ideas that would be | | | | When offering assistance or respite help, |
| helpful to both the caregiver and the one who is | | | | don't leave things as "let me know when you |
| being cared for. | | | | need help". It is extremely difficult for the |
| Just so you know where I am coming from, let | | | | caregiver to ask for help. Instead, give your friend |
| me give you some background of my current | | | | the times and days you are available and plan for |
| situation. I can only offer thoughts based on my | | | | the time. |
| personal experience. However, I believe that | | | | A homemade meal or dessert would be |
| most, if not all of the suggestions, can be applied | | | | much appreciated. Be sure to ask if there are any |
| to most scenarios. | | | | special dietary needs/restrictions, and let her (him) |
| My husband and I have been married for 32 | | | | know when you will be providing the meal |
| years. We have two grown sons, who are out on | | | | The caregiver could use some |
| their own. This was to be the time for my | | | | encouragement. Finding personal notes and |
| husband and I to enjoy our "newfound freedom" | | | | "thinking of you" cards in the mailbox are a great |
| and revel in our alone time. After all, our marriage | | | | pick me up! |
| had its ups, downs, and struggles, and we made it | | | | If possible, offer to take their loved one for |
| through, victoriously! Our sons are the joys of our | | | | an outing. She (he) will enjoy the time out with |
| lives, and we are so proud of the men they've | | | | you, and the caregiver will relish their time alone. (I |
| become and happy that our relationship with them | | | | would especially love this, being the kind of person |
| is still strong. However, they were ready to be | | | | who needs "alone time" which is no longer |
| out on their own, and we were looking forward | | | | possible) Some ideas: Bingo, shopping, lunch, ice |
| to some long awaited "alone" time. | | | | cream cones, hair appointment, manicure, |
| Plans have a habit of changing. About 7 years | | | | pedicure, senior center, Church events, walks |
| ago, my father passed away after many years | | | | Schedule some time to visit one on one - |
| of fighting heart disease. My parents had been | | | | play her favorite card or board game...just the |
| married almost 50 years, and were inseparable. | | | | two of you. Or bring over a few favorite movies. |
| My mom lived in Ohio, and we are in Virginia. My | | | | Plan in advance so the caregiver knows she will |
| husband and I traveled back and forth for about | | | | have some time to herself. |
| a year to help her as much as possible, but it was | | | | The elderly often feel alone, and especially |
| obvious that she could not live on her own. Mom | | | | miss getting personal mail. A warm and friendly |
| did not have a driver's license, the neighborhood | | | | note, some family photos or a small gift mailed to |
| they lived in for most of their married life was no | | | | them periodically will brighten their day! Find out if |
| longer a safe place, and my sisters were unable | | | | there is anything they may collect or especially |
| to help. The decision was made - mom would sell | | | | like. (It's fun to see the look on my Mother's face |
| her house and live with us in Virginia. | | | | as she unwraps a new Barbie or Beanie Baby to |
| My husband and I feel very blessed to have my | | | | add to her collection! And she also LOVES Word |
| mother with us. I am learning things about her life | | | | Search books...she never has enough) It doesn't |
| that I would never have known if she was not | | | | take a lot of time or money to lift spirits! |
| here with us. We have become much closer than | | | | Much of the time, when caring for a loved |
| we've ever been. However, the stress that I feel | | | | one, money is very tight. A gift basket, gift card, |
| as her caregiver is a feeling that I've never | | | | or movie tickets would be very much appreciated. |
| experienced. I am responsible for my mom's | | | | Maybe you have a friend, relative or church |
| health, social life, emotional well being, physical | | | | member that feels drawn to ministering to the |
| care, finances, doctor's appointments and | | | | elderly. Let them know of your elderly friend that |
| medications. I am also her personal assistant for | | | | could use a visit or card. You'd be surprised how |
| anything that she might need. We're talking extra | | | | networking can work miracles! |
| things like buying and mailing cards, shopping, | | | | Listening is one of the most powerful and |
| wrapping and shipping gifts, scheduling and | | | | loving ways to show your support. Listen with |
| providing transportation for hair appointments, and | | | | love, compassion and a nonjudgmental spirit. |
| trips to the library, etc. I feel completely stressed | | | | Every heart has a story to tell! |
| and worn out, and at the end of the day, there is | | | | Hopefully my thoughts are helpful. I'm sure you |
| not much left for myself or my husband. It feels | | | | can come up with many more ideas of your own! |