| Establishing routines and patterns of behavior are | | | | Your children have a need to feel comfortable and |
| important aids for children. Much of family conflict | | | | safe in their patterns. And your children need your |
| revolves around getting from one place to | | | | help in the training process. Here are some helpful |
| another or from one activity to another. Parents | | | | hints to aid in their success: |
| come for counseling because their children resist | | | | |
| getting up in the morning, feel anxious over | | | | 1. Establish your own pattern. Most people are |
| homework, dispute parent's instructions, or delay | | | | forced to have routines due to their line of work |
| in getting ready when the family needs to get | | | | (from lawyer to home manager). But if you live |
| somewhere. These difficulties can last into the | | | | chaotically, understand that your children will live |
| teenage years and can leave the emerging young | | | | chaotically. Establishing a routine for yourself will |
| adult incapable of coping with independence and | | | | greatly help in establishing a routine for your |
| responsibility. Some household adjustments can | | | | children and help model for your children the act |
| help remedy the challenges in the present and | | | | of routine-building. |
| prevent future problems. | | | | 2. Establish expectations and home routines. Sit |
| As parents, it is our job to train our children to | | | | down with your child and discuss what works |
| become successful adults. Successful routines are | | | | best for the morning routine, after school routine |
| at the core of independence and responsibility. | | | | and night routine. Use your child's input and make |
| Babies learn feeding patterns, nap patterns, and | | | | a list. Post the lists in appropriate places. Again, |
| play patterns. Toddlers learn waking patterns, | | | | you are training your child to be a responsible |
| snack patterns, and clean up patterns. | | | | adult. |
| Preschoolers learn activity patterns, sitting and | | | | 3. Encourage your child to adopt the plan by |
| listening, and bedtime patterns. Elementary school | | | | emphasizing that life is easier with routines. |
| children learn chore patterns, homework patterns, | | | | Remember that repetition is critical. Gentle |
| and social patterns. These patterns are not innate; | | | | reminders and keeping the focus on established |
| they are learned. Parents are the teachers. Thus | | | | lists aids a child in the training process. If a routine |
| parents must teach these routines with the | | | | is not working, re-work it! Consistency yields |
| patience and encouragement of a professional. | | | | results. Help your child daily until the behavior |
| Although so much of what we ask may seem | | | | patterns solidify. You will likely be rewarded by a |
| simple, a child may find them complicated. There | | | | calmer atmosphere at home. |
| are four major routines children must establish | | | | 4. Review school routines. Most kids feel |
| during elementary school: | | | | overwhelmed and anxious by new school routines. |
| - Morning Routine: This pattern includes getting up | | | | No matter how helpful and forgiving the teacher |
| on time, making their beds, getting dressed, eating | | | | may be, kids feel a need to impress and fit in. Go |
| breakfast, brushing teeth, washing up, packing | | | | over the expectations of the school and talk to |
| lunches and getting their backpacks ready. | | | | your child about the best way he can manage |
| - School Routine: The teacher and the school | | | | within that system. |
| establish this pattern but it can be a very | | | | Remember, it is never too late to establish |
| complicated set of behaviors and thought | | | | routines. Look at what has worked so far, what is |
| patterns. | | | | not working, and what will work in the future. |
| - After School Routine: Transitioning from school | | | | Develop a plan with your children and then |
| to home or an activity is a pattern in and of itself. | | | | understand that you are responsible for training |
| This pattern might include snacks, breaks, sports | | | | them step by step. If you use patience and |
| and homework. | | | | understanding, your children will gladly participate in |
| - Nighttime Routine: This pattern might include | | | | finding what works. Nobody likes a chaotic, hurried |
| mealtime, homework, snack/dessert, free-time, | | | | experience. After thirty days of intense training, |
| brushing teeth, washing up, settling into their own | | | | your children will relax into the patterns. |
| beds and going to sleep. | | | | |